Thursday, July 26, 2012

I'm Not Reading It Either

And by "it" I mean Fifty Shades of Grey, the most talked about book out there right now.

This post explains it better than I ever could, but I also have personal reasons why I won't read it. I started reading "Romance" novels while still in elementary school...forth or fifth grade. I was an above average reader and my friend was reading them too. Johanna Lindsey was a favorite for us.

Did I know the first thing about sex? Nope. Did I really "learn" anything about sex from these books? Not really. I don't really think I understood them that fully but they did leave a mark on me and my future. I learned that (gorgeous) men are supposed to rescue a woman and women are supposed to be hard headed, stubborn, or helpless and conniving. I learned that a woman can change that "bad boy" if she is attractive enough and "puts out" to make the man fall in love.

Romance novels create unrealistic expectations. I fought this reality for decades. Even now I find myself wanting to read them but I do my best to resist and avoid books in this genre. Why?

Those unrealistic expectations set every single man who I've ever been romantically inclined up for failure. NO one person could ever meet the expectations set by the men in those books. The books are no better than pornography, which also sets up unrealistic expectations.

Again, those expectations destroy relationships. And I can certainly say they hurt mine, including my marriage to my wonderful husband.

The things that I let into my mind affect me greatly...whether I see them on TV or read them in a book. Is everyone this affected by what they view? Probably not. But I bet enough people are that more should be conscious about what they allow in their lives.

The blog above has some great reasons for not reading this book and from my perspective, none of them were "judgmental" toward those who have read or plan to read the books.

Her main reasons are:
  • Reason #1: Let’s start with the facts. Fifty Shades of Grey is classified as erotic fiction.
  • Reason #2: The Bible has said for thousands of years that lust is hurtful and harmful. Guess what? Biopsychologists and others are studying the effects of lust, pornography, and erotica on the brain and the body. They are finding that the Bible was, in fact, right.
  • Reason #3: Okay, we’re girls. And, sadly, a few of our guys have looked at porn. How’d that work for ya? How’d it make you feel? Did it cross your mind that you could never compare to the perfection created by lights, camera, and Photoshop? Well, he can’t compare to a plasticized, vanilla interpretation of manhood either.
  • Reason #4: Do you know what BDSM is? Bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism. If you don’t know what those words mean, be glad. If you do know, you should understand that the most damaging part of Fifty Shades of Grey is that God created sex to be a partnership that’s fueled by love and self-giving, not pain and humiliation.

Go read her whole post to see her reasons expanded.

I found her comment section interesting because there were many who called her judgmental. I don't presume to judge your heart. Only God can do that. And if reading this kind of book doesn't affect you then it is not up to me to tell you that you shouldn't.

For me, I know that if I read these books I would regret it. It might be a wonderful love story...but the imagery it includes is not something I want forever in my mind.

No comments:

Post a Comment