Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Are Kids Too Spoiled?

Am I the only mom who worries that she's spoiling her kid? I hope not. And I don't generally feel like my kid is a spoiled brat. He's not once thrown a tantrum in a store when I've said no to a toy or treat...I figure that's pretty good for an almost three year old.

But his room is overflowing with toys. And clothes. This kid dresses better than I do. And I'm sure we give him more leeway than kids got 50 years ago. Talking back was not tolerated by my grandfather. Marshal talk back to us often...usually not about important stuff.

Yes, we spank. I admit it and I'm not ashamed of it. Everything in moderation. Quite frankly, we haven't had to spank him very much. It was mostly when he didn't understand time outs and was getting into something dangerous (i.e. sticking his finger in an electrical outlet). Now he HATES being sent to his room and it's a much more effective punishment for him. But he still gets swats when he's particularly defiant.

This is an interesting article.
The saying-no and limit-setting challenges for parents of young children often revolve around food, sleep and media. “By setting limits, we’re teaching them what our values are and the way we think they can lead a happier, productive life,” Dr. High said.
It's so easy to want to make Marshal happy by giving him things or letting him do whatever he wants...and trust me we've fallen so many times. I think he is learning limits and boundaries and we do say no when we need to. But that smile is hard to resist!

I think kids can be too spoiled in ways that previous generations (like my grandparents) wouldn't have considered. Kids take up their parents time like never before. Our lives revolve around our kids. My grandparents certainly didn't rearrange their schedules for their kids. They were supportive parents but they were also busy running their own lives. Did kids have more freedom to just be?

Now we book them into all kinds of activities and events. I hope that I can resist the temptation to keep Marshal busy all the time...but balance that with not letting him get too bored that he wants to start trouble. :)

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